emotional memorial part 1/2

i took off walking at full sprint.

i wrote down in my sketchbook what my thoughts were as i was experiencing it......

it was packed with people. all clustered in groups, mostly, probably on tour.

i began to walk through it.

the low blocks suddenly taller.

my breathing is heavy.

people show up for an instant, then disappear.

i'm holding my breath.

i feel like crying.

i'm scared.

i'm walking slowly.

kids running - idiots!

i hear footsteps of people running close by.

scaring me.

where are they coming from?

where do they go?

people seen only for a split second.

i feel like i'm being watched.

i crouch down (literally) and closed my eyes.

it's calm. too calm.

footsteps in distance.

distant cries.

voices.

footsteps are louder.

open my eyes.

i don't see anyone.

why are people laughing?????

it's a memorial!

kids running are out of breath, that scares me.

im so uncomfortable.

i catch myself holding my breath.

i can't walk non-stop.

i have to pause.

see shadows of people on vertical surfaces and floor surface.

tops of some pillars aren't perfectly flat.

slanted paths.

flood of emotion.

I was in Berlin with my whole class, including professors, from Thursday till Sunday.

The best part of the trip so far deserves my first Berlin post.

What is the purpose of a memorial?

Why do we visit them?

Do you have a favorite memorial?

What do we get from a memorial as a society?

For the longest time, I believed a memorial to be something that reminds others of a certain person or event. I never thought of it to be anything more than that. I also thought that the people who cried were the ones who had lost a loved one (husband, wife, daughter, brother, son, etc.) because of that certain event.

On Friday I visited the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe designed by Peter Eisenman and Laurie Olin.  To me, there are two words that describe this memorial: emotional & perfect.

The next three images are postcard images (that I bought) of part of the memorial.

What are your initial thoughts of it?

When I first saw images online of the memorial, I was amazed at how many blocks there were. How can so many blocks be significant? Nonetheless, I wanted to see and experience it. I wasn’t going to leave Berlin until I saw the memorial.

When Friday afternoon came, I had my sketchbook out and ready, a whole street block before we got to the actual memorial.  Even though I was with 26 classmates and professors, I wanted to be alone walking through this memorial. And most importantly, I wanted to take my time. My professor said we only had 30 minutes to walk through. I thought, “30 minutes? That’s it?! I won’t be able to get a good enough feel for it.”

When my professor tells us to go ahead, I sprint off running (okay, more like walking quickly).

This is the first picture I took of the memorial:

   

Even though I walked quickly to this edge, I paused since I was too afraid to go any closer.

And then, right in front of me was a group of birds and a kid holding out food for them. I’ve never captured a bird flying mid-air like this. It was such a beautiful thing to see at a memorial.

I decided that I would write down thoughts in my sketchbook as I was experiencing the memorial. I did some minor sketches, but I hope that the photographs and words from my sketchbook shown below help explain how I felt while walking through the memorial.

(please scroll down for part 2/2)